shiti just experiemented with coprophilia, it was surprisingly pleasant. my bladder was full, the feeling of the piss trying to escape was orgasmic. i decided to grab some old panties and put them on, i walk into the bathroom to empty my bladder. the feeling of the bladder being full really was better than it being emptied, i probably should have pissed slower to reap all the pleasure out of this experience. i took off the soiled panties, suckling on them a tad bit. to be honest, i wish it tasted sweeter, ive never been all to fond of bitter things, often i pour a fuck ton of sugar into my tea. i then decided to do something even more new then pissing with panties on. i began shitting, i placed my panty covered hand right up against my asshole to get a handful of shit. played around with it, squishing it, licking it; i quite liked the taste, though that seems like it would be a given considering its just a cacophony of the foods i consume. i ought to eat shit sometime. i then decided to smear a little of the shit on me, it felt wonderful. to become one with what i truely am, nothing but a worthless peice of shit. i love filth. but all love must come to an end. after relishing in my cacoon of shit i needed to free myself from it. the shower rinsed off my true skin, leaving nothing but my false skin. the skin i use to pretend im not everything that i am. the skin that protects me from everyone who doesnt understand. this false skin is nothing but a security blanket, if only i could shed it off and show the world my true skin.
damn, still need to do basic stuff for this site i guess, i dunno tho, i just like writing my horrid thoughts in this html file.
untitled i guessim back i guess. i dont really know if anyone even cared about my existance in the first place, i fucking hope not. surprisingly i didnt fucking kill myself.
life has been boring, i feel constantly bored, not the type of bored someone uses to rope you into sexual acts online, or the type of bored a child feels after a second without attention. the boredom i feel possesses me, consumes me, traps me. i feel like ive been cursed.
after a somewhat mixed experience with spacehey (or well, a fucking awesome experience that was hindered by goreposters and this one guy i dont care for much but i dont think i should name em here tbhh) i decided to come back here. (also cuz i still fw the name of this site so i wont make a new one) i think i might end up linkin my page from spacehey here, after i make some type of byebye post or whatever, i cant rlly stay consistant in doing shit anywhere, so idk.
recently ive been readin moar books, so thatz kinda cool ig. the bookz ive read r: all of dogman so far, things have gotten worse since we last spoke, and the ass gremlins of auschwitz. thgwswls is defo the worse out of em, the pacing is kinda bad; and would have improved greatly if it wasnt a novella and if it allowed events to gradually increase in intensity instead of going from "wear a dress xD" to "kill now."; tagoa was actually pretty decent, a neat exploration of the loss of childhood inoccence, i cant in good faith actually reccomend you read it though, its kinda putrid in quite a bit of aspects (kinda self explantory why !); and finally dog man is a fucking awesome series, the art is wonderful and so is the writing! currently im reading porn by matt shaw, eh, idk i dont feel much when reading so far, the perspectives switching often is neat, very fuckign homestauck or whatver..,,,,, im uh fucking tired.
damn it feels nice to write out shit, i need to do this crud more often ig, anyways ig im going to watch that movie i downloaded not too long ago, time to see how shit or not shit it is ig
rancor
why do i even bother anymore >:[
real life is boring.
i hate it.
everyone is so annoying. why cant they just shut up for once.
i hate it.
so much.
i wish i could just leave it all.
death looks delicious.
but i cant watch my tv if im dead.
i guess ive reached a stalemate.
i suppose ill just continue wasting my life away, bitter and filled with hatred.
fun.
i uhhh guess i should type up somethin about the website, yeah. i kinda sorta got grounded n shit cuz i put off doing skool bs (-_-;)
might b a hot minute until i continue updating moar regularly, my parents r very much so still on my ass about skool >:p
they're annoying but at least i know they mean well. i cant say the same about most other people. so thats something i guess.
bluh bluh stupid bullshit i need 2 remind myself 2 do >:p
~to do~
1. science shit thats due 2day !!!
2. stupid bs wrting thing thats also due 2day Xp
3. that history shit ive been putting off thats also also due today -_-
4. that other writing thing thats due soon, that ur parents grounded u over not doing >:( FUCKING DO IT !!!
5. readin that dum novel
6. stuff 4 that art show -_-
7. work on the site
future me u need 2 get ur shit together ASAP !!! >:[
procrastination
i need 2 start doin things in the now, instead of saying sweet nothings like; "ill get to them l8r XD ", "ill do that tomorrow X3 " , and so on and so on. they say that knowing u have a problem is the first step to recovery, and that is simply malarkey. nothing will change if you dont start pushing urself 2 change !!! Xp thats the hardest part of gettin bettr, for me at least, i always struggle with gettin myself 2 do thingz, which iz why i have a procrastination problem >.< oh well, i guess i can get better some other day... ill get better once im able to push myself... ill get better once i get motivated... ill get better when pigs fly XD these sweet nothings, these petty excuses, they wont change a thing. i need to get better now. i cant live on wallowing in self-pity. i need 2 start doin things now.
the beginnings are beginninging
starting 2 actually properly plan out stuff 4 this site, thats kinda neat i guess :p i know exactly what im going 2 to do for 4 of my todo list thingy, but its probably gonna take a while 2 do tho (i need to figure out how 2 use <map> Xpp ) i think i might work on 3 of my to do list or make more stuff 4 the site once im done with skool 4 2day ^.^ speakin of skool, it suckz and i h8 it so muchhh!!! >:[
nothingness is soon going to become somethingness
I've now gotten my tumblr theme looking decent, it is just a lazy recolor of one of the preset themes but it looks fine, so thats linked and taken care of i guess. im currently in the middle of workin on my about me thingy, itll probably b finished soon :p once i finish my about me thingy 1 & 2 of my to do list will b completed. yay! the next thing i think ill do is add more stuff &/or work on 4 & 3 of the to do list.
Hello Again World
Wowie, first post in this thingy, neat. I created this site yesterday, (April 22nd 2024 :p ) mostly cuz ive been feeling bored, bored with a lottt of stuff, might as well do somethin, so i decided to make this site. This is my 2nd neocities site, my first one didn't end up turning out too great, mostly cuz highschool sucked up all of my time; highschool still sucks up a whole buncha my time, but i think ill b able to balance it this time. I'm going to try to update this site often, at least one update a week kinda often. My current to do list 4 this site: 1. make a place 4 my art 2 b displayed, im probably just going 2 make a custom theme 4 my tumblr, just so i dont have 2 crosspost a whole buncha shit; 2. An about me thingy, kinda self explanatory as 2 why i wanna make one :p ; 3. make the site more presentable n' bettr lookin, might take a bit, itll probably just b somethin that gradually happens. 4. make a better index thingy, i might make buttons 4 each subsection of the site. 5. eshrines, mostly a distant future thing, itll probably never get done if i start making one while im still working on basic crap 4 the site, ill likely make one when summer vacation happens, so i have an adequate amount of freetime.